I fell behind again!  It’s ok though, I’m bouncing back. I have been working on another post for a couple days, and I want to make it better before posting. It’s a sensitive post about divorce and how it affects families forever. I want to really watch how I write it so it doesn’t upset anybody involved. However, it’s been 11 days since I posted so I want to continue on while I work on that post.

How is everyone dealing with this pandemic? I’m actually starting to like it more each day! I have learned that for my mental health I have to limit social media and watching the news. What in the world is going on? I literally feel like I am in a nightmare coma and I’m never going to wake up. According to the CDC, we are at a total of 3.97 million total cases in the US and 144,000 deaths. This is absolutely crazy. Did 2020 shatter anyone else’s childhood dreams of having flying cars and being about to teleport? Instead we are dealing with a pandemic that is only getting worse. I do appreciate Governor Wolf for handling Covid-19 as well as he did. I feel as though he has tried his best to make it so we do not continue to rise in cases as a state. I know that not everyone will agree with my opinion on masks, and that’s ok. I wear a mask anytime I leave my house because I have respect and care for other people. I have had a lot of people tell me that I should stay in if I’m afraid of the virus. I should send someone else out to shop if I can’t deal with people not wearing mask. This is fine for me, but not everyone has somebody to help them. Furthermore, what about the people like me that do have their significant others go to the store to get groceries? Sure, I can stay home while Tyler runs out for the groceries, but that is still potentially exposing him to the virus. So, if Tyler is going out to the store and he is wearing a mask but other people are not, he is still possibly being exposed to the virus and then coming home to me. Or what about the elderly that may only have a son or daughter to help them. Even though the son or daughter is wearing a mask, they are still being exposed if an asymptomatic person is not wearing a mask because they don’t “feel” sick. My point here is, just wear a mask. It is such a simple task to do and it is helping to stop the spread of Covid-19. It is also just being a decent human to wear one. This whole pandemic has thrown me into a world I’ve never experienced before. I feel like America needs an intervention. Families are being torn apart, police brutality is out of control, and now we are trying to throw science out of making educated decisions. My head feels like it could literally explode at any minute!

During quarantine I have been trying to find things to do to keep my mind busy. I tried and I am still trying to do yoga. In February I had a spinal tap procedure in the ER and afterwards I developed a spinal tap migraine. The only way to make the migraine go away is when I would lay completely flat. A couple days after the spinal tap, I had to have a blood patch done because I had a spinal leak from the spinal tap that was done in the ER. I have had lower back pain since February and my friend recommended that I try yoga. Wow! Yoga is so peaceful. I have never felt so much peace as when I do yoga. Now I haven’t done yoga in about a week now because I have been feeling sick. I went to the doctor’s yesterday and I am in a mild Crohn’s flare up. I haven’t been able to shake the nausea quite like I would like, and I let it consume my mental health for a week. It is ok to have set backs in life. It’s ok to take time for self-care, but don’t let yourself get inside your own mind. By this I mean, don’t let being sick take over. I’ve been getting up and taking Zofran for the nausea, and then resting more on the couch. I have felt like a complete bum this last week. I felt so bad for just lounging on the couch for some reason. Tyler is the only one working right now, and I appreciate him so much. If you are feeling down because of your health that is ok too. We are allowed to have days where we just want to sulk. I do not let those days come very often in my life, because I feel like it only brings me down more. I try to find something positive in everything.  I wont lie and say that this isn’t a hard task at times but it definitely helps get your mind off of the negative day you would have had. Tyler once told me that we are the only ones who decide how we feel. Even if someone is a complete disaster and tries to make you feel like crumbs, turn it around and find something positive about that person or about your day.

Having these illnesses is not easy. Every Single Day is a blessing, and I like to act upon that. We are not promised tomorrow, hell we aren’t even promised a next breath. I wake up every morning with swollen joints and I feel like an 80-year-old getting out of bed each day, but I’m happy that I was given another day on this earth. I was given another day to make someone happy. I want to make a difference in life. What a waste I would feel like if I didn’t try to help others feel better about themselves in their own skin. I would say Crohn’s disease is one of the most embarrassing diseases to have, especially as a young lady. I grew to not care about what people think about me. If they feel some type of way other than positive about me, that’s on them. I just want to make people smile and feel better about life. Every day is a struggle, and I deal with an inside monster every morning.  I never let the monster win! I am still here and I am still winning every day against my disease. Even when I’m in a flare up, I will look at the positive and be glad that I am able to tell my story in hopes of helping others with theirs. Thank you for taking the time to read some more of my story today! Please leave any comments or questions <3

P.S. On a different note, while we are freaking out about this pandemic, police in Italy found a shipment of coffee beans stuffed with cocaine. Wait, what?! First of all, how do you even put cocaine into a little coffee bean? The investigators found 130 grams of cocaine in a two-kilogram shipment of coffee beans. The package was being sent to a fictional character from John Wick 2. So, if you want to take the time to put cocaine into a coffee bean, do not use a movie characters name to ship to. This is what apparently flagged the shipment to be investigated. Also, just don’t ship cocaine 🙂

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