Anniversaries and Friendships

Anniversaries are better than birthdays.

Anniversaries are better than birthdays. Did my fingers just type that out? I can’t believe that my brain even actually had that thought. I absolutely LOVE birthdays. Who doesn’t love their birthday? I know you are probably thinking that there couldn’t possibly be somebody out there in this world who doesn’t like birthdays right? Not only does that person exist, but he is “my person” and his name is Tyler <3 He is the one that I go to for everything. He supports me in everything I do, even when he knows its just a phase. I can’t stay mad at him for long. Actually, I can’t even remember the last time I got mad at him. Relationships are not always easy, and it’s not something that just happens. You have to work towards your relationship every day, whether you realize it or not. This doesn’t just mean relationships with your significant other, but also relationships with friends and family.

Our anniversary was on Friday and it marked the 14th time that we have circled the sun together. We were supposed to be in Atlantis right now, but Covid-19 had other plans. I should have been waking up Friday to a beautiful sunrise over the ocean. I would have been having breakfast with my best friends and family before getting my hair/make up done and zipping up that dress. I still will not complain however, because I get to wake up next to him. I am thankful for each and every day I get to spend with Tyler making memories. It hasn’t always been easy for the two of us. Both of our parents are divorced, so we didn’t exactly have a “perfect” couple to look up to. We were kids when we first met at a little rock show in a small town. I was only 16 when I started hanging out with Tyler. We went to different schools, so we didn’t really get to see each other every day. When we were 16, it was still cool to go hang out at the mall or just drive around town. I remember sitting in the uni-mart parking lot in Houtzdale with Tyler and just talking with his friends. I would get so jealous when we would hang out and he would even look in another girl’s direction. My mom would always say “you’ll grow out of that someday.” I didn’t believe her then, and it’s funny looking back now that she was actually right about something! I laugh now thinking of how jealous I used to get, and here we are 14 years later killing it!

As I said before, neither one of us had the best upbringing when it came to relationships. Ultimately, I think that helped us in our relationship. We work towards our relationship every single day, even when we might not realize it. Obviously, some days are harder than the rest. Our path has been a rocky one. Having a chronic illness is hard not only on myself, but my family too. I get so frustrated with Tyler when he tells me that I just need to change my diet and exercise. Oh Man do I get pissed when he says that. I am sitting here writing this and getting mad just thinking about him saying that to me. This makes me upset for a couple different reasons. First of all, I have an incurable disease. This disease is NEVER going to go away. Could I change my diet and have less symptoms sometimes? Sure! Exercising on the other hand is so harsh on me. I was working out on the elliptical for a while because it is easier on my knees and ankles than the treadmill is. That, however, had to be put to a halt because my heart rate was going up so high. This all lead to a little depression in me, which then ends up making me and Tyler bicker some. We always work our way through and come out smiling in the end.

Anniversaries are a good time to take it easy. Relax! You can celebrate another year of being in love with someone. I have had people ask me how we have been together so long. I’m not a relationship expert, but I do try to recall some of the things that I wish I wouldn’t have done. One thing I would have changed was trying to basically rule him. I didn’t want him to hang out with his friends because I thought they were no good for him. At the time I apparently thought that his friends had some kind of power over him making him do bad things. He is his own person and makes his own decisions. I can see now how irrational I was by getting so upset over him hanging out with his friends. Another difficult time we went through in our relationship was when he turned 21 two months before me. He wanted to go out to the bar all the time with his friends, and I hated being at home alone. I absolutely hated this time in our relationship. We pulled through it though, and now we can look back on it and laugh. Tyler has taught me so much in the last 14 years. He taught me how to love myself and not care about what anybody else thinks. As the saying goes “You can’t really love another until you love yourself.” We have walked a rough road together, and at a point we went down different paths, but I am grateful that those paths lead back the same road. I am going to sound so tacky, but I honestly don’t know what I would do without Tyler. He puts me back together every day just by simply existing. It’s been a rough week as we were supposed to be in the Bahamas. I have let myself get a little down about the whole week being ruined because of the Corona Virus. I am so lucky to have a great support system between family and friends.

Anniversaries can be shared with some other very important people in your life, friends! I have some amazing friends. I am lucky in life to share some wonderful memories with such old friends. We talk to each other every day still like we are in high school. During this pandemic we have been supporting each other. I think that we all view this pandemic differently. Although we don’t all see eye to eye on Covid-19, we still encourage discussion about it and see each other’s point of view. I believe we have each helped one another out of some sort of mood or depression. I know they have helped me through my own troubling times. Just on Friday Kalynn had flowers mailed to my house. Friday was the day Tyler and I were to have our ceremony at Atlantis and she knew I was feeling really down about it. They were so cute, check them out below <3 It’s just so important to have genuine friends. We have all been friends for 17+ years. We also have had some rough patches in those years, but we never let anything break our friendship. I can say that it has been difficult not being able to be around each other, not that we spent a lot of time together, but now that we can’t, it seems harder. Once this virus is under control, or there is a vaccine, we will all get together. This pandemic has made me appreciate my friendships so much more. “True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.”  -Steven Aitchison

I am satisfied in life knowing I get to celebrate anniversaries with Tyler and my friends. I will forever be grateful to have such honest people in my life. They are my daily life building blocks. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t have them. Try to remember to take it easy on yourself. If you wake up and you are just not feeling like taking on the day, relax for a little while, don’t be hard on yourself about it. You are in charge of your own happiness. I try to remind myself of this multiple times a day. If I am allowing myself to get upset about the news, I have to step back and tell myself that I am in charge of my mood/happiness. From time to time you have to just take a step back and recollect yourself. Turn the news off, go outside and get some fresh air. Look in the mirror and say I love you! Do whatever it takes to be happy, truly happy. Pay no mind to what people may think. As always, thank you for taking time to read my thoughts. Feel free to leave any comments on how you might motivate yourself, I am up for learning different tactics.

Make Happiness a priority and be gentle with yourself in the process
                                             -Bronnie Ware

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